How to respond when you own your shit, ask for what you want and your partner says “no”
1:00 Introduction Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
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2:30 Topic: Negotiating from a “no”
When listener S identified awkwardness with her partner when she came home from a date, she did everything right: did some self-analysis, named her insecurity and requested a physical reconnection with her partner after a date. An excellent case of owning her own shit and asking for what she wanted!
And the partner said “no.” Where do you go from here?
Keep in mind that just because you ask for what you want doesn’t mean you’re going to get it! This is the beginning of a discussion:
- Ask your partner for a counter offer. If not a planned physical reconnection, then what might he be able to do?
- If necessary, evaluate and counter his counter-offer. Show that you are making efforts to accommodate his feelings, as you are asking him to accommodate yours.
- Ask your partner about his feelings. Encourage him to explore and do any necessary shit-owning.
13:10 Wrap up
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